Life

So, it has been awhile since I have really posted.  There are so many reasons why, but I think the shortest and easiest explanation is "life". Life has changed here. Life is busy. Life is moving at lightning speed. Life just doesn't stop moving.

Harris starting first grade was really the beginning of all things changing.  Because both boys are in school all day now, I took on a new responsibility at work, which has me there until at least 2:30 every day. While it is not officially "full-time", it is a whole lot closer than my 22 hours a week was last year. I don't have the time during the day to get things done anymore: errands, vacuuming, laundry. That all has to be finished when the kids stay for extended day or are in bed, and I am exhausted.

The majority of my weekdays are no longer centered on my children, but on other people's children.  My children are now to the point in their little lives that they are at school for the majority of the day, and my time with them is limited. They are learning more from their teachers and their classmates every day than from me. They spend more time with Henry, Alex, Owen, and TJ than they do with Mom and Dad. What an adjustment for me!

I think back to how exasperated I used to get with them and how much I just used to crave a break.  Now, I wish for some of those days back.  I see my time with them now as one of my most valuable assets. I look forward to weekends with them, exploring Sunrise Park, snuggling on the couch reading, building Legos, and watching movies in bed. I just look forward to being with them, hearing their little voices and holding their (not-for-long) little hands.

Now, I'm not saying that they are perfect and that I love every moment with them. By any means. They pick at each other frequently, they make huge messes that they don't want to pick up, they pitch fits and speak disrespectfully. But, I feel like the majority of my time with them on weekdays is spent rushing them to eat and get dressed to walk out the door on time, fighting the homework battle, or fussing about manners at the dinner table. So I crave my weekends and days off with them, when things can be less rushed and more relaxed.  More fun.

I'm not saying, either, that I don't still crave the "me time", because that is always a strong pull. There is definitely something to be said for quiet time by myself, with Jason, or with my friends.  I guess I just miss the time I took for granted when they were little and look forward to squeezing a little more out of the days I have left before they don't care to spend their time with Mom anymore.

Blogging has changed and gotten harder for me as they have gotten older.  It was easier when they were little and there were so many "firsts".  Now that we are all in school full time, I don't feel like there are as many things to post about... days are more routine and more about school (not too exciting to post about the Social Studies homework Jackson did yesterday or about the spelling test Harris took!). If I post, I want it to be a quality post... not just a post to have a new post (I feel like some of my posts were just for that reason - to have something new posted - and weren't all that impressive).  Also, I feel like my time with them is my time, and I'm just not sure how much I feel like I need or want to share. Sounds selfish, I know, but I have been selfish about my time with my family lately, and I think that is a good thing to be selfish about.

I love my blog and always hope to get back to it more frequently. To share more of what my children are doing and who my children are becoming (they are pretty stinkin' awesome.).  I promise I will try. But, if I am slow to post, please be patient with me, knowing I am trying my best to steal every moment I can and that I will be back with a glimpse into our constantly-moving lives.