I have been feeling like life has changed so much for us over the past 6 months, and I couldn't explain it until the birth of a friend's baby a few weeks ago... we are living the Big Life. I don't mean financially or wildly. I mean Big Boys Stuff and Moving Out of the Baby/Toddler Stage. Gone are the smocked outfits, overalls, and jon jons. Gone are the board books. Gone are the cute clothes and the little boy haircuts (although that might not be forever!). 
We sold the glider that I rocked the boys in when they were fussy (LOTS of time spent with Jackson in it!). We are selling the changing table/dresser that was in their nurseries. The double jogger has been sold. Very few naps. Very few opportunitles to join our most favorite playgroup. No more baby monitor, no more sippy cups.
No more babies.
The boys are staying after school for some sort of school program 3-4 days a week, and Harris would stay every day if I would let him. Jackson is riding a bike without training wheels, and Harris is not far behind him. Jason built a climbing wall for the boys, and they both have it mastered. Jackson is getting better and better at soccer and karate. He also got into a great school for first grade next year. FIRST GRADE. My baby. How???
Going back to work has been such a good thing for me this year, but it reminds me that my boys are old enough to not need me 24/7, that I am no longer a full-time Mom. We are all moving forward at lightning speed, and I have such mixed emotions about it. 
I have to admit, life has gotten so much easier and, really, so much more fun over the past few months. I LOVE where they are now, and I love the freedom that them being older has given us. But, it is so sad to see those baby days fading. They are still little, still babes in so many ways, but really, I feel like I am a mom to kids now, not so much to little ones. Life is moving on, we are moving on, but I can't help looking behind me as I go. A little sadly. I wish I could have bottled some of those days so that on days like today, I could pull them out, revisit them, then put them safely back on the shelf for another day. 
I have to admit, life has gotten so much easier and, really, so much more fun over the past few months. I LOVE where they are now, and I love the freedom that them being older has given us. But, it is so sad to see those baby days fading. They are still little, still babes in so many ways, but really, I feel like I am a mom to kids now, not so much to little ones. Life is moving on, we are moving on, but I can't help looking behind me as I go. A little sadly. I wish I could have bottled some of those days so that on days like today, I could pull them out, revisit them, then put them safely back on the shelf for another day. 
6 comments:
Great post, Amanda. And having just started over I can't help but be a bit jealous of your days. At the same time I will feel the exact same way as you do now when I realize my babies are full-fledged kids!
Your words were perfect. I completely understand where you're coming from. I can't believe we'll be there in just a few short years too.
I know that I will feel exactly the way you do one day! It is bittersweet to have them grow up!
I totally understand exactly where you're coming from. And never forget that even though you aren't with them 24 sequential hours a day - as long as you have them, you are always a full time Mom.
Your words are perfect and I know what you mean. Having just started over as well I too am a little bit jealous but know that I will look back longingly on these days as well. :)
A little late, but I just read this post and it brought tears to my eyes! I struggle with the same back and forth pulls. You want them to be able to go and do more, but you want your babies too. A Mommy's love...
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